musik rules along with mediocrity

So its been a Turkey day extravaganza up here @ the old ranch of nightmares full of load people and barking dogs and full of soft pick adjectives which will be discussed @ a later juncture, along with my obsession with abbreviation. I just figured out that I work better on things when I am able to work on fifteen things @ a time...kind of like a roadrunner on speed.

role models

Nothing is like the moment, when the lies you have been telling yourself, become apparent as lies, but that only happens when receptors of ones mind are open to the right universal frequency..Like when I saw Boyz in the Hood with my father and it made me think about how good I really had it, because all I had to dodge warrior rednecks with beer bottles, rather than crack dealers with automatic weapons, still feel sorry for myself sometimes as I have too little adversity or challenges to deal with in my life, so I tend to create my own adversity sometimes, but people who never learn how to curb that impulse live very short lives on average..I'm working on discipline..Ice Cube said it best, "I ain't no mutherfuckin role model"

Gambling fever dreams/weirdness from the velvet rut

Insomnia is my new girlfriend all wrapped in her dreamy inequity...Jealous of all the sleepers getting their eight hours of curds and whey. I also just learned that Austin is a velvet rut all wrapped in her cocoon of part-time, excellent, so with fifty-one weeks left in my thirtieth year, I find myself thinking how the velvet rut started in my own life and why I got serious about playing cards. I was just bored mainly, but also a friend of mine, who was obsessed with video games, ended up getting a job in the gaming industry and it made me think about how I could play games for a living. If and only if I elevated myself into the top five percent of poker players so started practicing on the internet and found that I wasn't as good as I thought I was. That's a common trait with me though as I never am as good as I think I am, but like all things over time I have improved-I always thought that the devotion that one has to put into something to master it is akin to addiction-a slow obsessive burn until the pain becomes too great or the object of one obsession is mastered. The loosing keeps me up sometimes as I hate to loose. More than anything I hate to loose...It would be easier to win if I could sleep more than four house at a time. I haven't had a cigarette in three days so wish me luck...Monday, I start exercising to try to give myself some balance as playing good poker is all about discipline and if I institute it in one part of my life I am sure it will bleed over into others..

Moving out West

My people were degenerate wanderers from out Germany way and people of similar ilk found themselves wrapped up in California, safe in their vests of Kevlar, all based up with free samples of diet coke and asprecream. My Great Grandfather started In Mississippi, farming tobacco, but then an unfortunate war happened in 1861 which brought him to Texas...Texas is the rawboned land of the white trash...Professional in their vices. Memorialized only in their desire for their seed to have some education. Some option other than slaving on no vacation double shifts. My Granddad went on a camping vacation once and when he came back he lost half his clients to his main competition. That's why my father really disliked camping...Work is serious business.

If I think I got it bad Bush-wick Bill had it worse. I mean its one thing to get shot in the eye and have that cell phone strapped to ones ear, but wholly another to get ripped off by Scar-face. Now some people might be proud to get hustled by the infamous H-Town Gangsta, but I, who has a weak stomach, would be consumed by a murderous thirst for revenge. Now, who knows if I would get it or not; after all I'm just a weak pudgy white kid from the Amarillo suburbs, who spent more time perfecting his smoking pose rather than his killing stroke, but it would still burn...I guess thats why Bush-wick found Jesus. Way to go Jesus...

I'm back...

Here is the third and last try @ getting my blog off the ground. The biggest obstacle in my own life is my tendency to self destruct when I get less that perfect results @ a task. So I never get better @ said task. Due to the small margin for error in life this is starting to disturb me as my thirtieth birthday is approaching in less than a week. I have wasted my twenties working @ Thundercloud Subs in Austin, Texas. Squandered would be a better word and sometimes I get angry @ myself for it, but what did I put my heart into to make my world a better place? So I have no one to blame, but myself as thirty is a little old to be having mommy and daddy issues. No guts no glory, right? Speaking of work I had some hippies as my last customers of the day and ran into some Hippiculty, when hippies have difficulty or one has difficulty with hippies, as most hippie children have no manners and respect for anything and while that's all fine and good when everyone is @ home worshipping the hooka. In public its not ok to make other people, in line, wait as you are not into the special we have @ the moment..Jesus I'm starting to sound Thirty. All for now...